Friday, December 01, 2017

I prepare myself for the new year

It's the first December. A good date to refresh the old resolutions to practice yoga daily. I know that I'm not lazy. It can be that the breaks between practices were necessary My body is OK. The pain comes out of fear not because of a real injury. The pain system is malfunctioning. I work on reset the pain system. Whenever I realize that pain in the back gets worse, I stop practicing. I calm myself. I breathe deeply. Oh my what an optimistic person I am. But I also see that there is no alternative. One must move the body and I love yoga.

Today I practiced late in the afternoon. The body is more flexible at that time than in the morning. No cramps were felt in the back, yet the practice was also not 100% pain free.

It's disappointing to realize what I lost, mainly strength. Yoginis don't complain. There is also nothing to complain. Action is the answer to my disappointment.

It's cold here. There was snow already. The Christmas markets are open. People shop as if all shops will close tomorrow and never ever open again. Sometimes I give in and join. I always find something.

Wednesday, November 22, 2017


Yesterday I experimented. I wanted to find exercises that might prepare kapotasana. I used the chair on the picture and also an Iyengar chair. Both have to large seats for my body. It also hurts to lie on them, also when I cover them with blankets. It feels unstable to lie on them, there is no resistance.

It's more useful to get on the knees and to walk down the wall with the hands. It makes more sense to repeat this exercise or to stay longer in that pose than to lie over a chair.

I know other preparation exercises. Hanumanasana is such an asana. It stretches the front of the hips. Being able to do hanumanasana enlarges the flexibility enormously.

Second series has 11 back bending asanas, dhanurasana included. They build up on each other. I'm searching for asanas that prepare the body for even deeper back bending asanas.

After all these years filled with forward bending asanas I love to bend backwards.

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Back to my fav challenges

Yesterday primary.
Today second series.

Yesterday's focus was forward bending and strength.
Today's focus was back bending.

Today is the 21st of November. I was glad that I was able to practice (with almost no pain in the back). I found my own way to practice. The series is my guideline, but I feel free to adjust it to my current needs.

I'm on my own these days. This is nothing related to yoga only. There comes the day where you have to go your own way. I go my own way now. I approach my yoga practice in a flexible and attentive way.

Second series has 11 back bending asanas, dhanurasana included.
Kapotasana is one of the most difficult asanas, but my body allows to do this asana. I have plans how to get there.

1. I'll label posts as 'kapotasana'. To document the journey is always a good idea.
2. I'll create asana routines that I'll practice before this pose. By now I practice always hanumanasana, split pose before kapotasana, to stretch the front of the hips. It's so helpful.
It could be also useful to find routines in order to stretch the chest muscles.
3. Repetition and holding the pose longer than only 5 breaths is a good idea, too.

By now, I'm glad that I practice again. I'm glad that it is possible and that I have no pain afterwards. This makes it so much more likely to practice again.

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Learning has revolutionized

Today is Wednesday and I'll practice primary again. That is I'll work on strength again, I'll work on the vinyasas. I'll do extra exercises if necessary. I'll omit exercises. My back is still not 100% OK, but I'm on the right track. When pain is felt I switch from an ambitious attitude to a take it easy attitude.

Learning has changed a lot due to the Internet. Brian Aganad is also an online teacher. I had mentioned him already in one of my last posts. He offers online classes. This is rather new and very good. He corrects his students online. That is one sends a video and he analysis the movement and asanas. This allows him to give further tips. Perhaps the technique is not correct, perhaps strength is needed. It's difficult to analyze oneself. There is always a blind spot. I can be wrong, but this is what I understood when I read about his classes.

If my back was OK, I'd have joined. It's even less expensive than going to yoga classes anywhere. I don't give away the responsibility to a yoga teacher who has different interests like me. Yoga teacher usually want to teach 'traditionally', that is no extra exercise. no props, and so on. I was pressed forcefully in an asana often enough and this is the main method in Ashtanga yoga classes. The community needs more teacher who have a clue on didactic. To learn an asana the right way can make a difference. To learn asanas or vinyasas correctly can even avoid injuries.

This back injury gave my practice a new direction.

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

The funeral

One must write one's own epitaph. One cannot leave this to other people. If one is a public figure one cannot avoid that others write about the own life and the death. But most of us are not that famous. If we don't want to turn around in the grave out of irateness, I recommend taking over this task.

I wouldn't like to have my employers listed in such a speech. This would also be a a speech a bit too long. A CV that we usually write to get a job has nothing to do in such a last speech.
To mention how sad we are is so redundant. And perhaps some people are not sad. What a allegation. If someone suffered for years death might be a relief.
It was mentioned that the death person, a woman loved to do skilled manual jobs. She loved paperhanging, I heard. No single woman of this generation loved paperhanging. They did it because most families had not enough money to delegate this work. The housewives did everything out of a necessity, even paperhanging.
Lately I saw a Swiss movie (Die göttliche Ordnung). It was about womens' right to vote in Switzerland. In the 70s women were not yet allowed to vote. There was also a funeral in the movie. A priest hold the epitaph and described the dead woman as modest. It's true that this woman ended in the poor house, but not because she has been modest. She worked like hell in her own restaurant. Yet she had no bank account of her own. Her husband was a drinker and used up all the money. The story is based on facts. This woman was more or less robbed by her own husband. One of the suffragette stood up and told the truth.

Thank you.
This can be enough. Just these two words. To start with a list why one was thankful is a trap. One always forgets something.
Thank you and inviting the guests to a funeral feast. Enough.

After the speech the husband of the dead person stood up, went to the coffin and knocked hard on it. First he took his fist, then he threw his head against the coffin. Hard. Again and again.
Then he left the hall and headed for the bench in front of the mortuary chapel. He took off his glasses and dried his tears.

Sandwiches and cakes were offered later.

At night we arrived in Munich.

Sunday, October 15, 2017

I love my problems

We're back from party #2. We were invited in a 'Wirtshaus' (restaurant) one and a half hour away from Munich close to a sea. About 40 people celebrated together two birthdays. Age range of the guests went from zero to above 70. Many children were among the guests. I whispered in Edmund's ear: "I love to see how the mothers and fathers care for their children. I wouldn't have loved to do that at that age. They are all still so young." He: "They are in their 30th, it's the best age to have children."

This is so true. But in my 30th I wanted to become successful in my job. I wanted to see the world. I wanted to be free. Nowadays I want to bring my legs behind my back and I want that they stay there without holding them. I prefer to feel overwhelmed with all the chores I have to do without children. With children I would go crazy. It motivates me to organize myself better and better. It occupies me to work on my next step in photography. I know I have to create series.
I never missed children in my life. I don't miss them now.
I love the problems the Gods give me.

My problems are joyful ones.

Lately I faced problems that created nightmares. I couldn't sleep. I felt paralyzed, sad. I quickly came to the conclusion this is not my business. My issues are to stand up from urdhva dhanurasana and so on. I don't add other ones to my life.

My beloved E tot up and we don't have filter for the coffee at home. I'll dress quickly and get them at the bakery.

Saturday, October 14, 2017

Parties, funerals

Two parties and one funeral in one week. This is going to be an intensive week. One party was yesterday, the other one is today. There is always something to celebrate: birthdays, anniversaries. The funeral is in Monday.

When getting older funerals become more often. Friends, relatives, neighbors leave us forever. A funeral is an opportunity to meet the friends and relatives, perhaps also neighbors of the person who passed away.
We don't have a guarantee, that our last time on earth is pain free. There are pills, yes, but they have often side effects that are a burden, too. Some pain killers are so strong that the person who takes them gets into a delirium. Pain killers can kill all other sensations, too. My friend A who passed away in March told me, that the digestion is not working anymore, when she takes pain killers. My friend had 2 very awful last days after a long illness, lasting years. The woman who passed away a few days ago (a distant relative) suffered a week. She wanted to finish her life earlier so bad was the pain. Death can become a relief.

Death is a taboo in our society. It seems to me that we all think we live forever. Funerals are reminders for me that also my life is limited. It helps to make wise decisions in daily life. How to spend the remaining time is a good question. There is an end to everything.  Is it really worth the time being angry about more difficult contemporaries. Is it really worth the time to complain. Isn't it more fun to be friendly.

Often life aggravates when people get older I'm convinced that a daily yoga practice can help to stay healthy and fit much longer than without yoga. But who knows our fate?

Yoga also means to exercise mental skills. They are evenly important and can improve life as well: being content, being relaxed also in difficult life situations, exercising concentration is as useful as being able to reach the toes when bending forward.

Today is a yoga free day and party time. Life must be celebrated.